Obama Mandates Use of Recycled Toilet Paper

New OPR brand recycled toilet paper being used in the White House

OPR brand recycled toilet paper is now being used in the White House and Congress.  By executive order, Mr. Obama has mandated use of recycled toilet paper in all federal buildings.  Obama said, “We have all kinds of old, useless documents lying around in Washington.  There’s no reason we can’t put ’em to better use.  The fat cats in Big Paper aren’t happy about it.  But you have to have courage to do what’s right for the people.”

Vice President Biden added, “Well, I yes.  Some of them I say they say, well, Joe, look, man, I mean, you know, you guys haven’t massaged this very well.  And, you know, this no-recycling thing has gone on so long, I don’t know.  And my response is, hey, man, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. I’m telling you, you know, recycled TP works if you give it a chance.  You know we’re going to control the paper companies.  You know people aren’t going to lose their so-called rights with this recycled plan like is being advertised.  So you’ve got to if you really want to make sure that you get the benefit of recycling old, useless documents, use this TP, man.  I tell you what.”

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